Lovers at the River Front

Wow, lol just WOW. You often hear that you can't plan life, it just happens- or something along those lines. But I truly did not see this coming. I'm writing this from Brooklyn, New York where I just woke up in my friend's apartment who I've been staying with for a little over a month. I left New York three years ago, with no intention of moving back. Even though I did not love living in Los Angeles, it wasn't on my mind to return here long term.

But of course once everything is calm, I had found stability and I wanted a change and a jolt and then like a train that cannot stop for long- I had a chance to board so I did.

Now I'm back here, enrolled and deep in the waters of school, learning to become a pilates instructor. I can't believe how lucky I am. I thought fashion was the only career path for me, because it moves me so deeply and I have used it to survive for tens of years. I was fighting so hard for my fashion career that I didn't see what was right in front of me. Another oasis in my life that had also saved me. Pilates. 

I grew up a dancer, taking it quite seriously. I trained for hours after school, in math class I would be drawing ballet shoes and long, muscular legs- seemingly all I could think about. I learned to access and control my body using my mind. This, I've recently learned, is a key tool used in pilates. So it's no wonder I find peace in the discipline and concentration of the method.

This post won't be about pilates but it will be about how I took a walk last night, and found myself wandering to the waterfront. The Williamsburg Bridge towered above me, I felt a wave of awe wash over me. Wandering still further I noticed the new, green leaves of the trees, still wet from the afternoon's rain. An intense floral scent cut into my path and a blooming pink lilac bush burst from a garden full of them. I continued my peaceful walk and softened at the sight of many pairs of lovers, embracing each other at the river front. I thought, this is where we come to love.

So maybe everything is not about love. As I keep my head down, studying for hours daily, practicing with my body, mind and heart. Working late into the night again, in a job that will be temporary. No thoughts of romance or another person, just myself and how proud I am of me, to be me, that I never left myself- I stayed. 

Then again, maybe everything is about love.